Remember how far we've come
by spiralnebulaM31
Summary: "...she knew that together they could even reach the stars. Of course, that wouldn't be rational, but he believed in the most irrational things in life." Just a little one-shot with some insight in what Brennan's thoughts could have been before they got together.


It's been a long time since he realized that he loved her. He would do anything for her. She had acknowledged that fact for a while although it seemed unreal for someone to love her like he did. He was waiting for her. And she was almost ready.

She looked back a few years ago, when her life wasn't the way she wanted it to be. Sometimes, she was falling apart and she felt like no one could help her get back on her feet again. She could barely breathe, her life had lost its purpose, her whole existence didn't make sense to her any more. And the worst part of this meaningless insanity was her not finding out what had went wrong in the first place; her capability of reminiscing the first sign of her never-ending downfall was long gone. Even the tiniest hint of her former considered happy life was currently lost in a sea of mixed memories, slowly fading away like the smile she once had on her childhood photographs. She ended up being introverted and the most amazing feelings were not perceptible to her senses. She knew she was missing too much, but she was affected by the fear of bewilderment and loneliness, a fear that didn't let she enjoy the simplest indication of tenderness and devotion.

When another usual day came to an end, all she wanted to do was to lie down in her comfortable bed and let herself experience an eternal sleep, because this was the only time she could really feel something. It was the moment her subconsciousness chose to start dreaming. It was the moment her imaginary self took over the reality and she was suddenly relieved of any burden, obligation, or restraint. Her mind had moved to a place where no one could hurt her either physically or mentally. In this place she knew she had the privilege to retain a part of her logic in her possession along with a piece of her heart, which would allow her to get involved with certain emotions. She was afraid of being sensible of the emotions that other people felt and sometimes she envied them although that should never be rational; that's why a change like that was necessary, even if it used to happen only in her dreams.

Nevertheless, her life wasn't supposed to be worthless. Hence, an unexpected event occurred; he got into her reality without previous notice causing her head to go dizzy and her insides to melt every time she thought about what had just happened. At first, she refused to believe it. She was unable to conceive the significance of the excitement of the mingled feelings; it was overwhelming. Her mind's activity came to a halt and her heart liberated itself from the malignant restraints that used to make her suffer from distress. She began to recognize the new sensations, whether it was love and prosperity, or anger and gloominess what she felt. She didn't really care about her feelings' nature, since at least now she could verily feel something. She kept reminding herself to be thankful for what had originated that row of emotions, because she'd come to realize that sadness calls for courage; courage to open our hearts to the rawness of life, to feel the extent of our loss and to become fully present to the depth of pain it brings forth. By having the courage to sit with our sadness we come to realize that it couldn't swallow us whole, it couldn't kill us and that we are stronger and more resilient than we had given ourselves credit for. The fact is that feeling our sadness could be deeply healing and extra-ordinarily liberating.

She knew that he, who had helped her understand, would be there, in her heart and mind, whatever the consequences might be, and that was the thought that inspired her and moved her towards the most meaningful aspects of her life. Oh, the possibilities! She didn't need to sleep in order to be content, as she had already begun to materialize her dreams. She could feel in her bones that great changes were ahead and they could only happen if she was open enough to see them coming. He was responsible for her transformation and she decided to hold on to him and move on with him. Sometimes, she found herself wondering why she still kept the recollection of who she used to be. The answer was indeed intelligible. It was because it brought her the remembrance of how far she had come. How far they had come. A reminder of her past life had been awakened and it unlocked the gates to the horizon, to let her pass through them to a bright, sunny vision of the world itself. It would be a new world for both of them, because she knew that together they could even reach the stars. Of course, that wouldn't be rational, but he believed in the most irrational things in life. That was enough for her, since she would always believe in him.


End file.
